Press "Enter" to skip to content

4 Steps to Self Love – Powerful yet Simple Ways

AnxietyPanda 7

Last updated on February 11, 2020

FacebooktwitterpinterestmailFacebooktwitterpinterestmailby feather

If you often find yourself stuck in periods of self-loathing and mental angst, one of the best things you can do is to learn to love yourself.
That’s right.
And we’re not talking being vain and thinking you’re better than anyone else; we’re talking being real and refusing to be anything less than anyone else.

You should be able to love and show compassion towards yourself just as you would towards a loved one.
You are your own teacher.
How, then, will you love another if you don’t even know how to love yourself?

Nurture yourself, and you will be able to nurture others.
Infuse yourself with positivity, and you will attract positivity and positive people into your life.

Life is about learning. Let’s learn to love ourselves!

4 Steps to Self-Love – A Comprehensive Breakdown

lit up, tiny hearts background

Step 1 – Take care of yourself – mentally and physically

Self-love starts with self-care.

You are not able to efficiently care for another if you are not able to look after yourself first.
Practice daily meditations and breathing exercises for mind relaxation and be sure to get at least 20 minutes of physical activity and sunlight per day.
Eat regular and nourishing meals with high nutritional values.

You will start to feel amazing and the effects will resonate in all aspects of your life in a positive and loving manner.

Step 2 – Forgive – yourself and others

When you forgive, you also release and set free the bonds that kept you from being who and what you wanted to be.

Forgiving yourself and others unconditionally will set off a ripple of positive waves in your life.
You will feel light and free and, most importantly, happier.

Realizing and embracing that nobody is perfect, that everybody has imperfections and that we are all one, despite our differences will help you to forgive.
Let go of guilt or resentment, it will only cause you misery and pain.

Forgive and let be and start LIVING!
Start by forgiving yourself, then work your way to others, if any.

Step 3 – Be grateful – even for the little things

Gratitude comes with its own set of benefits and manifestations.
You will find that the more grateful you are for something, the more of it you will receive!

Be thankful for every blessing that comes your way, even the things that have become so routine that you don’t even think about them anymore.
For example, you buy yourself a cup of coffee before work every day – be grateful and thankful that you have the money to buy this.
You are more privileged than many on this earth just by being able to buy that one cup of coffee.
Try giving thanks to the universe/God for every purchase you are able to make, and really mean it – see what happens 😉

Once you start focussing your attention on being grateful, you will find that it’s one of the easiest things to do as you have so much to be grateful for!

Just the fact that you opened your eyes this morning is already something to be grateful for.
If you’re reading this you probably have a roof over your head, clothes to wear and a warm bed to sleep in.
You wash with soap, you have the luxury of wearing deodorant, you get to choose what clothes you wear (yes, some people don’t have that right), you may have to walk 4 blocks to get somewhere, but hey, you have TWO LEGS that are in working order.
Those are all incredible things to be grateful for.

And these are only physical things!

You can also be grateful for your ever so loyal pet or the amount of love that is showered on you from your closest and dearest.

We dare you – be grateful every day, even if only for one thing!

Step 4 – Take note of your inner voice – Be kind to yourself.

Think about it – when you’re lying there in your dark hole of depression and you’re telling yourself how worthless you are and how you can’t do anything right and that you always let people down so you deserve this, will you show the same type of cruelty to a family member or other loved one going through the same experience?

Your answer is probably a big fat NO.
If your answer is yes, then you really shouldn’t be reading this article and instead, be seeking professional help as your problem is too deep-seated and needs to be addressed and attended to as soon as possible in order to ensure your normal functionality in society.

It is important not to try to get rid of your negative thoughts.
Just accept that they are there.
If you try to get rid of them they will increase in amount and intensity, so best is to just be mindful of them, accept that you have them and then see if you can turn that thought around into something positive by approaching yourself as you would a friend if they were going through the same issue.

AnxietyPanda suggests that you bookmark this page in order to read through and remind yourself of the four steps on a daily basis. Retraining your brain and patterns takes time and constant reminders to focus on a better, healthier and happier you.
You can do this!

Happy Man

Feeling overwhelmed and worried that you will not be able to break years worth of routine self-criticism and neglect?
It’s okay and a normal reaction to feel.
Take it one step at a time.
There are many more ways to love yourself than the four steps listed above, don’t feel restricted by these, they are just the most important ones according to AnxietyPanda.

Take your time, start by focusing on just one step and once you’re comfortable and in the habit of that, then move on to the next.
You will find it gets easier to do the more you do it, as with most things in this world.

There will be days when you feel like giving up and giving in to the horrible voice inside you that tells you that you are not worth loving.
Challenge that voice and push through, nothing worthwhile comes without hard work and dedication. Who better to be dedicated to than yourself?
The benefits are obvious!

For further research and a resource of wonderful affirmations to get you started on your journey to self-love, follow this link 🙂

Do you have any tips for better self-love that you would like to share with us? Please let us know in the comments.
AnxietyPanda loves learning from her readers and your input could help others in need as well!

Panda-love <3

Self Love Infographic

Share this Image On Your Site

FacebooktwitterpinterestmailFacebooktwitterpinterestmailby feather
  1. Nikolas Nikolas

    I´ve been filled with self-hate through a big portion of my life. And learning to love myself is the only something I´ve begun to do in the last couple of years.

    its hard for me but I’m trying, and reading this has helped me to realise that even small things can go a long way

    I will bookmark this page to have a reminder of things I can do to help love myself. In case I get down, or I find my self in a bad place.

    Thank you for writing this

    • AnxietyPanda AnxietyPanda

      Hi there Nikolas!

      You are SO right, all the small things can indeed go such a long way. Many people don’t realize that you don’t have to spend a lot of money in order to “fix” yourself. Simply remembering to treat yourself as you would others will go a long way in this temporary space in time we’re living in. 

      It makes AnxietyPanda feel warm and fuzzy to know that you have taken your happiness into your own hands and have begun the wonderful path of loving yourself unconditionally and that this article have given you some reminders to continue doing that.


  2. oska oska

    First and foremost let me start by saying that I have suffered from anxiety and depression in the past. Before I realized the root cause ( pressure to please others and perform to their expectations ) I was stuck in mental anguish.

    I thank God I overcame this through prayer and learning as you have mentioned; to love yourself and appreciating the little things you do to make life meaningful.

    Your 4 steps are not only motivational but also inspirational. In line with your 4 steps my faith teaches me:

    1. What a we think of ourselves continually is exactly what we become.
    2. We should love our neighbours as we love ourselves.
    3.We should count our blessings and name them one by one.
    4. We were put on this earth for a purpose, once you discover your purpose you cultivate self worth.

    The bottom line is we need to live one day at a time.

    • AnxietyPanda AnxietyPanda

      Dear oska, thank you for your encouraging comment and for sharing your wisdom and experience with us. I LOVE the 4 steps of your faith. May I ask what denomination you are?

      Love and kindness to yourself and to everyone and everything is the answer to so many terrible situations. Simple, yet so difficult to achieve. 

      As you said – one day at a time. Now. 

      • Oska Oska

        Answer to you question; I was raised Catholic but I attend non denominational churches. How about you?

        I also love your ? concept I see them as fascinating animals, though we have none where I come from.

        PS: Am a fun of animations and was entertained my the animation “Kungfu Panda”


  3. angnino angnino

    Great article. It is always good to be reminded to take care of ourselves. I think it is easy to forget that we matter too.
    I have been learning about meditation in the past couple of years. I find that it really helps me. I try to do it daily, even if I don’t feel like it. It is those times that I do not feel like it, that I need it most and I am glad I did it.
    I agree with getting exercise everyday too. It is so important. I was recently diagnosed with a muscular imbalance in my legs. The physio therapist suggested a daily routine of stretches and weight lifting. Some days I just don’t want to do it, but I force myself to and at the end of it I am so glad I did as it does make me feel better both physically and mentally.
    I never used to believe we were all ONE. I do now and I find it is quite helpful when dealing with others. Having this perspective has really changed how I look at other people ( and myself ).
    I agree with you when you wrote about accepting our negative emotions. I have learned recently, that negative emotions are always going to happen, no matter who you are. I have even learned to accept them and just let them be. Sure, I try to turn it around and be positive but that is not always easy. Life is not happy all the time. Life is full of ups and downs and that is normal. Once we learn how to ride the waves of life then we will be happier in general.
    I enjoyed your article.
    Have a lovely day.

    • AnxietyPanda AnxietyPanda


      I’m so glad that you enjoyed the article! You touch on some fantastic and valuable points, thank you for sharing your experiences with us all!

       A very important thing to take away from your comment is the fact that you need to push through and DO the exercises and meditation even if you DON’T feel like it. You will always end up feeling better afterwards. I find this true in many aspects of my life. For example, I never feel like going to dance classes, and mostly imagine bad things happening, but I always feel better, both physically and mentally, afterwards. Or you don’t look forward to some social gathering and then end up having a ball 🙂

      Other than this, I also agree with you on the ups and downs of life. Ride that wave where it takes you and be at peace that what will be will be 😉

      Thanks again for stopping by – peace and love sent your way

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.